Rituals when mourning loss of a pet

When we experience loss, rituals and routines we’ve enjoyed with an animal companion are also lost. It can be easy to feel lonely and isolated. One of the ways we begin to heal is by creating new habits and patterns to integrate into a new way of being. This mental shift of releasing the old makes way for new beginnings. This does not mean the memories are forgotten. Merely, we are letting go of what is no longer in the physical realm. We are freeing ourselves from the attachment to the memories. We are choosing to not stay rooted in the past. The memories will forever be in our hearts. We can honor those memories in the stories we share with others, and the touchstones we create through rituals like lighting a pet memorial candle. This affirms our beloved pet will always be with us on our journeys.

Suggestions for times to light the candle:
-After waking up
-What would have been feeding time
-What would have been walking time
-After returning home from work
-Snuggle time at night
-When you are missing your beloved pet
-When you are reminded by a story or a memory

Light a candle in remembrance for the one you love and meditate

Today, I light an In Loving Remembrance Candle in remembrance of Sophie Chew, the inspiration behind Luxepets and my grief counseling practice.  It has been 8 years since her transition, and she is a constant reminder of the work I do.


If you are experience loss in your life and missing your loved one, consider lighting a candle for him/her. Our remembrance candle burns for 5 days, so you can keep it lit, or light it when you are feeling blue.


If you are grieving the loss of a beloved animal companion, you can light this candle usually when you would take your pooch for a walk, or feed your feline friend. Creating new rituals helps continue the bond you feel with your special pet.


If you are missing a much loved human, you can do the same. Since you cannot reach out and pick up the phone, light a candle and consider writing a letter to him/her. Or find a comfortable place to sit and practice being still for a few minutes. Have a conversation out loud with the person you are missing.




A great accompanying practice with lighting a candle is Trataka, a Hatha yoga kriya I've found complimentary to healing grief. According to Hatha Yoga Pradipika, “Trataka cleanses both the eyes and the cerebral cortex, balances the nervous system, and relieves depression, anxiety, and insomnia". To begin, find a quiet place to sit. Assume meditation posture. Sit at eye's level about 20"-24" away from the candle flame. Gaze at the middle part of the flame, without blinking as long as possible. Allow thoughts to come and go without attachment. Gaze until you can no longer hold the pose. Sometimes tears will appear. Gently wipe away your tears with a tissue, this is clearing impurities and grief you might be holding on. Refer to the link above for directions in more detail.


So today, blessings to all pet parents who have love and lost and am choosing love once more (as I write this, I am blessed to have 2 angels sitting at my feet, Lulu a border collie and her sweet senior sister, Casey)  The flame that burns brightly for Sophie goes out to all of you too. 

Grief, letting go and anniversaries

I am on day 3 of a 30 day meditation practice for grief and loss. Initially, I decided to partake in this journey to walk the talk, not only be able to facilitate this meditation but experience it. What I've come to realize, is what a huge gift this is for me. To become a student for 30 days.  I am exploring releasing work and relationships are no longer working for me. To make room for next steps in my practice, in my community. I am reminded that time is precious. I am reminded of why I am here and the work I am doing is so important... and how much I love it!

For me, April is a big month with many anniversaries.  On 04.13, Sophie, the inspiration behind Luxepets crossed over to rainbow bridge from liver cancer. On 4.21, I found out I was pregnant, 04.25. my mother passed away unexpectedly. And tucked in there in between it all is my birthday.

Today, I miss my mom. I miss Sophie. I lean into my grief.  I give myself some of the support, love, comfort I lend to others. The pain is there, and not there. Sometimes it comes as quickly as it goes. Last night, I was scanning in old photos for an upcoming launch on compassion fatigue I will be teaching. Tears came forward as I walked down memory lane with the photos, each telling a story. Laughter followed close second as I came upon silly ones of Sophie, and with her big grin.

To animal parents who are caregivers for senior pets, animal rescue volunteers who give selflessly of themselves, vet techs, vets, anyone who has experienced grief and loss....practice loving kindness and compassion with yourself today. Give yourself a big hug and acknowledgement for all that you do.
If you are grieving, let thoughts and feelings surface and allow them to pass through without judging.  Do something that will make you feel better. For me, I will light a memorial candle for Sophie today.

Sophie Chew 1994-2003 

Introducing our 5 day pet memorial candle

Sophie, the inspiration behind my products company Luxepets would be proud of us this week. March has been an exciting month for us, in between recording our 28 days of grief and healing Pet Loss audiobook, to launching 3 new products. In partnership with Morris Animal Foundation, we are excited to introduce the 5 day pet memorial candle, a caring and thought gift for the grieving pet owner.  Made from all natural vegetable wax and a cotton wick, place this candle in a special location and light for 5 days in honor of a beloved animal companion. Part of proceed from every purchase goes towards helping animals enjoy longer, healthier lives by advancing health and welfare for companion animals, horses and wildlife worldwide. 


In a few hours, I will be boarding a plane and heading to Vegas for the Pet Loss Professionals Alliance Conference. We will bring the candle and our pet loss services to share with funeral directors, pet crematories and other pet loss related professionals. But for now, we would like to first share this special candle with you.


Have you lost a beloved pet?
Know a grieving friend who could use some extra love? 


10% of all sales this weekend will go to Morris Animal Foundation.


Blessings,
Claire