Light a candle in remembrance for the one you love and meditate

Today, I light an In Loving Remembrance Candle in remembrance of Sophie Chew, the inspiration behind Luxepets and my grief counseling practice.  It has been 8 years since her transition, and she is a constant reminder of the work I do.


If you are experience loss in your life and missing your loved one, consider lighting a candle for him/her. Our remembrance candle burns for 5 days, so you can keep it lit, or light it when you are feeling blue.


If you are grieving the loss of a beloved animal companion, you can light this candle usually when you would take your pooch for a walk, or feed your feline friend. Creating new rituals helps continue the bond you feel with your special pet.


If you are missing a much loved human, you can do the same. Since you cannot reach out and pick up the phone, light a candle and consider writing a letter to him/her. Or find a comfortable place to sit and practice being still for a few minutes. Have a conversation out loud with the person you are missing.




A great accompanying practice with lighting a candle is Trataka, a Hatha yoga kriya I've found complimentary to healing grief. According to Hatha Yoga Pradipika, “Trataka cleanses both the eyes and the cerebral cortex, balances the nervous system, and relieves depression, anxiety, and insomnia". To begin, find a quiet place to sit. Assume meditation posture. Sit at eye's level about 20"-24" away from the candle flame. Gaze at the middle part of the flame, without blinking as long as possible. Allow thoughts to come and go without attachment. Gaze until you can no longer hold the pose. Sometimes tears will appear. Gently wipe away your tears with a tissue, this is clearing impurities and grief you might be holding on. Refer to the link above for directions in more detail.


So today, blessings to all pet parents who have love and lost and am choosing love once more (as I write this, I am blessed to have 2 angels sitting at my feet, Lulu a border collie and her sweet senior sister, Casey)  The flame that burns brightly for Sophie goes out to all of you too. 

Setting pet loss and grief standards

Today, there are over 750 pet funeral homes, pet crematories and pet cemeteries across the nation — and a lot of human funeral homes have or are now offering pet cremation and services as part of their business. As a pet loss expert, I was proud to be among these pioneers the past 2 days at the second annual Pet Loss Professional Alliance Conference in Las Vegas.  The group met to set and maintain standards for services related to pet deaths, such as funerals, memorials, cremations and burials. 


While business goals and marketing efforts were discussed, there were also panels for compassion fatigue and pet loss.  It is great to have a confirmation that I too was on the right path. I look forward in taking all that I've learned at the conference and putting it into practice when I return. A perfect opportunity in combining a previous career in the design world with my current grief coaching practice to create interactive tools for vet techs and rescue teams will be part of Luxepet's 2011 efforts.  


For now, more visioning and thinking as I get ready to come home. Next stop, Venice CA to give hugs to my furry family. 

Introducing our 5 day pet memorial candle

Sophie, the inspiration behind my products company Luxepets would be proud of us this week. March has been an exciting month for us, in between recording our 28 days of grief and healing Pet Loss audiobook, to launching 3 new products. In partnership with Morris Animal Foundation, we are excited to introduce the 5 day pet memorial candle, a caring and thought gift for the grieving pet owner.  Made from all natural vegetable wax and a cotton wick, place this candle in a special location and light for 5 days in honor of a beloved animal companion. Part of proceed from every purchase goes towards helping animals enjoy longer, healthier lives by advancing health and welfare for companion animals, horses and wildlife worldwide. 


In a few hours, I will be boarding a plane and heading to Vegas for the Pet Loss Professionals Alliance Conference. We will bring the candle and our pet loss services to share with funeral directors, pet crematories and other pet loss related professionals. But for now, we would like to first share this special candle with you.


Have you lost a beloved pet?
Know a grieving friend who could use some extra love? 


10% of all sales this weekend will go to Morris Animal Foundation.


Blessings,
Claire

Explaining death to a 3 year old

This morning, our 17 year old rat terrier did not want to eat her breakfast. A home cooked meal of brown rice, ground beef and broccoli goodness. Casey has been spending more and more time sleeping in her crate, her favorite spot in the house--the warm kitchen. Our daily walks have been getting shorter and shorter. In human years, she is 119.

My daughter, a spirited 3 year old toddler that she is, wanted to chase her "sister" down for a hug. Casey wanted none of it. How do you explain to a 3 year old her "sister" is at the tail end of her golden years? Kayman loves her "sisters". We've talked about death in general terms, as both of her grandmothers died before she was born. We've chatted about dead snails and slugs we've seen on sidewalks after a rainstorm. We've never had the opportunity to discuss it as it is happening, until now.

As I am putting finishing touches on a new workbook for parents to explain pet loss to their kids, I realize I will get to be my own focus/test group by using it with my daughter Kayman.

Below are some of the things I will be discussing with Kayman.
-Write down what are some of Casey's favorite things to do, foods to eat, funny expressions of love.
-Draw pictures of Casey with her family.
-Write down "feelings" Kayman has around death.
-Explain what happens when an animal dies. They stop breathing. Their fur/coat is cold. They look like they are asleep but they are not going to wake up this time.
-Plan a good bye part for Casey.

I feel the gifts and the blessings of being able to share this with Kayman. And the gifts of this upcoming book with all of you.

Hopes and dreams in grief

In our darkest hours, dreams and hopes may be the farthest things from our minds. Yet, they can also serve as our heartstrings, our conduit in journeying through our grief to the other side. Hope is the wheel of momentum that keeps us moving forward. Dreams are what we hold close to our hearts.

Just for today, can you allow yourself to feel whatever you may be feeling, sadness, depression, heartache, loneliness, AND have hope in your heart that this WILL pass. It WILL pass with the work you are committed to doing in moving through the grief. By sharing your thoughts, talking and reaching out to loved ones for support, writing down feelings and emotions, getting it out and through you so that it does not weigh you down like a lead weight/sinker at the end of a fishing line and BECOME you, these positive action steps brings you closer to hopefulness.

walking the talk- anticipatory loss

Grief is a natural part of my work everyday. As a grief counselor, I assist those journeying through grief to the other side on a daily basis. But even I, am not immune to grief itself. Yesterday, I had the opportunity to be a part of an fundraising event benefiting a pet charity. Casey, my much loved rat terrier made the journey with me. Nestling into her bed in the backseat, it seemed like yesterday that I first rescued her from San Francisco. This month marks our 11th year together, her 17th on this earthly plane. She had a harder time climbing up into the back seat, her cloudy eyes looking out as we journeyed from Venice towards downtown LA. She has been slowing down this past year..naturally given she is 119 in human years. Yet, yesterday, it really hit me. My very social butterfly did her tour of "sniffing butts" and making friends, but for most part, she was more comfortable sleeping on her bed behind the booth, anchoring the event with her presence.

Given the theme was "wine and dogs" with wine tastings, the mood was celebratory. Pet loss was not a topic most pet lovers wanted to think about. We had our pet loss products and services available, along with some of Luxepet's luxeblessing charms. The St. Francis Pet Tags to protect your pets in particular was a big hit. Most that stopped by all knew someone who had recently lost a pet. Others had senior pets of their own and were not ready to think of that day that was approaching.

That day that was approaching.

It was yesterday that I came to terms that this would probably be the year for Casey to wind down and make her way towards rainbow bridge. In the past month, she's let us know she wanted to be carried for the latter part of her walks with her border collie sister, Lulu. The time spent sleeping during the day, or sunning herself in the yard as I work has increased while her appetite has been decreasing. She still loves the homecooked meals served daily, and for the first time, she lets Lulu finish her meal for her.

As I put the finishing touches on my pet loss book for children, I wonder if my first reading will be to my 3 year old, Kayman.
Wells of emotions came forward last night as I wrote about non-judgment and guilt surrounding pet loss. Tears of anticipatory loss. I re-read what I had written and advice given to clients. This morning, I am following my own advice. I acknowledge my feelings and allow myself to be with the pain. Practicing what I preach. I recognize my own humanity, vulnerability. I am grateful to be present in my emotions. This is part of my strength, not a weakness, as I have shared with clients.