However, tonight's post is dedicated to all of the mothers I know, who are missing their babies. I celebrate their strength, their love, their dreams and hopes, of what might have been. Whether it ended in miscarriage, stillbirth, whether the baby lived one minute or one year or more, this is a salute to these mothers, and the strength in their light that shines amidst their darkness.
For some, tomorrow will be a difficult day. The memory of their baby/child will always be in their heart. As they continue to integrate the loss, they find that life goes on. The sadness never quite goes away altogether, but becomes woven into a new tapestry that they will weave, with new memories and new meanings. A memory that will never be forgotten. Memories may fade a bit over time, but the love never will.
This is for YOU, all the mothers out there who are missing their angel babies. Below are some things you can do to celebrate the mother in you tomorrow, however it feels right for you. Motherhood is not calculated in minutes, but the essence of the mother in you. The mother you already am and have always been.
If you find yourself grieving over your recent or not so recent loss, below are some things you can do on Mother's Day in remembrance of your angel baby.
-Consider writing a letter to your baby. Share your thoughts, hopes and dreams.
-By putting your thoughts onto paper, it can be freeing, to move any residual emotions or pain that still might be stored inside the body temple.
-Know that this letter is for YOU. You do not have to share it with anyone, unless you want to. It is absolutely confidential, so you can allow your heart to be vulnerable. It is a safe space.
-If writing is not for you, consider finding a quiet place where you can be by yourself for a few minutes and have a conversation with your baby.
-Talk aloud as if you were having a chat. Do not edit your feelings. Allow them to flow from your heart. With release, comes healing.
-Find a friend or family member you feel safe with and ask if they will hold a sacred space and listen. Share about whatever holds an emotional charge or "juice" comes up for you on this day. Memories of the pregnancy, whatever phase of motherhood you experienced. This is a testimony of the love your had for our child and the bond between the two of you. This is something that will always remain. There is no right or wrong.
-Do something to nurture yourself today. If all you feel like doing is stay in bed all day, give yourself that gift. Consider this change of scenery though---to pamper yourself vs. being in bed with a box of kleenex; a cozy bed, candles lit, relaxing music in the background, a new robe, magazines, a cup of tea, some flowers near by your bed.
-Find one positive aspect. Even in our darkest moments, there is something positive that comes out of loss. Perhaps it is realizing the strength you never knew you had, or coming to find a deepening in the support from friends and family. Or the hope you have inside your heart.
Sometimes, this is the road that leads to acceptance.
-Do something to memorialize your loss tomorrow, it can as simple as lighting a candle. The ritual helps reinforce and honor the sacredness of it for you.
-Last but not least, celebrate YOU. Acknowledge yourself for being the most amazing mother. Your loving, kindness, dedication, has no timeline. Remember that you are loved and supported by the Universe.
Sending you many blessings of grace and healing on this upcoming Mother's Day. If you need support, please know that help is but a phone call away. I have a list of resources listed on my website and I would be honored to gift you a complimentary consult. To your healing and overcoming loss to thrive!
Claire
